AM I GOOD ENOUGH? Memoirabilia Podcast 25

Viga Boland

Viga Boland is the author of 4 memoirs. She mentors memoir and creative writing groups for the Hamilton, Ontario Public Library. She is also a paid speaker at conferences on child sexual abuse. Viga blogs and podcasts from her site at MEMOIRABILIA, from her personal author's website, VIGA BOLAND, and on her latest site for writers of all genres, VIANVI.

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6 Responses

  1. Marilyne A Rudy says:

    Thank you Gulara for sharing that excellent emotionally moving piece from your book. Viga your podcast paints a clear picture of what Gulara was portraying with her writing! Gulara, you did very amazingly well to overcome your feelings of unworthiness to become the person who you are today. I can also relate to feeling “not good enough” all throughout my childhood. I would love to be put on your email list and receive your “healing compassion” on “good enough”. Thank you.

    • Viga Boland says:

      Marilyne, thanks from us both for your comments. I’m sure Gulara is delighted with your response and will happily add you to her mailing list. Gulara?

    • gulara says:

      Dear Marilyne, thank you so much for your support. I’m afraid, so many people are affected by this feeling. Thank you for sharing your experience here too. The more we talk about these things, the easier it is to overcome the feeling, because we are not locked in isolation of shame or the story itself.
      You can sign up to my newsletter at this link (I don’t have your e-mail address, so unfortunately can add you myself). Thank you very much for your interest. I hope we stay in touch.

      • Marilyne Rudy says:

        Thank you very much Gulara for taking the time to respond to me. Also, thank you for giving me the link to sign up for your email. Your kindness is much appreciated. Take care Gulara!

  2. Nancy Gustafson says:

    Dear Gulara,
    I am so touched by your story. I love to read your work. You write beautifully. You mentioned that your feelings of “not good enough” may have been planted before your mother cut her wrists. We are such fragile children, so in need of knowing we are loved just as we are. Even wonderful parents can make little mistakes in the way they encourage their children, and a sensitive child buries an inaccurate message. I remember piano lessons. Thinking I might have some talent, my mother (an accomplished cellist) went to work to buy a piano so I could take lessons. I remember her hurrying home from work to cook dinner. Standing next to the piano while I practiced, she said “Nancy, I don’t care what you play. Even if you play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” play it as well as Beethoven plays it, or don’t play it at all.” She meant to encourage me to do my best. It didn’t work with my personality. Was it fear of failure to live up to her standards? Probably. I quit piano lessons and became a synchronized swimmer instead. Mom supported my decision and sat by the side of swimming pools for years, even though she hated the water. HOWEVER, my sister became a professional cellist. What makes the difference? Is it personality, fortitude, perseverance? Can anyone do it all right and raise the perfect child, with no hang-ups? I will certainly sign up for your newsletter.

    • Viga Boland says:

      Thanks for such a well thought out comment Nancy…and how much like you. I’m sure Gulara will be thrilled with your response. Gulara? Do sign up for her newsletter. It’s amazing